This is a Serious Post

Let's get real for a moment. It's time for a Serious Post. I'm going to talk about a hard subject.

My oldest child has ADHD. This means that people are allowed to just walk up to me and give me parenting advice and criticism. Generally the advice follows one of three styles:

1. If you disciplined her more/better/the way I disciplined MY kids, she wouldn't act like that
2. You shouldn't medicate her, you should accept her and take joy in her specialness
3. ADHD is made up

This kind of commentary also implies that I am parenting wrong. After someone says something like that to me, I laugh it off and get on with my life. Oh, wait. No, I usually cry the whole way home.

So I thought I would take a moment to show you all a TINY glimpse of what it's like for me to parent my particular almost-nine-year-old with ADHD. Please do not try to generalize this experience, because for heaven's sake, all kids and parents are different.

I took the kids swimming one day last week and on the way back we stopped at my aunt's workplace, a small upscale candy and sweet shop. The shop had a lot of nutcrackers, mostly up on shelves, and one big one in solid wood that had to be five feet tall, standing by the door. Kimmy ping-ponged around the shop, picking things up and putting them down, completely oblivious to my efforts to get her to quiet down and act more appropriately. Her behavior was rubbing off on her siblings, too, and I was pretty embarrassed that we were creating such a spectacle in front of the other store patrons. I apologized to my aunt (who is a laid-back saint of a woman) and explained that Kimmy wasn't on her meds that day.

"Oh, I thought she was just excited to be here!" she smiled. We laughed about it, and I explained my theory of Kimmy's behavior, namely that when she isn't on her medication, I appear to be escorting a drunken third-grader around town.

That's right. It's like she's drunk: slurred speech, poor motor control, loud talking, loss of inhibition.

I told my aunt about this, and we looked over at Kimmy. She was at the big nutcracker by the door, with her arms draped around it, kissing it on the mouth. "He's sho biig!! Look how big an' srong he i'!" she called loudly to the two ladies who were leaving the store. She tossed her hair back and leaned over to sloppily kiss the nutcracker's hand. "Wook, Mom! I kissin' his han'!"

I wish I was inventing this, or at least exaggerating, but this is exactly what happened. She is sweet and funny and creative, but sometimes she's an unruly drunk.