A Letter to the Future

Dear September Me,

Hi, it's me, writing to you from the end of the school year, way in the past, before the swimming and the dirt and the zoo trips and the romping through the woods and whatever awesome things you came up with to nurture those kids of ours when they weren't watching PBS Kids and ODing on Minecraft while whining and fighting and spilling food on everything.

School seems like a dream come true, fresh with promise and crisp new supplies. But I'm writing to you to remind you of the things you've probably forgotten in your excitement to have 2/3 of our kids off learning stuff with friends all day. I've put together a list of resolutions for you, so you can do better at this parenting thing than I have.

First of all, great job improving your penmanship over the summer! 

1. Stop putting things in Kimmy's lunches that you know she won't eat, but put in anyway to make yourself look good to the imaginary adults judging her lunches, as if you were competing in a reality show about motherhood. News flash, self! Uneaten food has no nutritive value! Give Kimmy healthy options, sure, but sometimes it's better to just get calories into that girl. Remember how you felt whenever she came home and said all she ate was a baby carrot? Because she "wasn't hungry"? I'll bet she would have eaten some chips, too.

2. You should probably check their folders every day. Or at least every other day. Then you won't have to sign any permission slips with a half-melted crayon in the car while dropping them off at school.

3. You should keep a pen and pad of paper in the car, just in case you forget until the very last possible moment that you needed to send one of those "Please excuse so-and-so's absence. She was puking her guts out" notes.

4. Seriously, aren't the girls old enough to walk home alone? It's like a five-minute walk. If you pick them up in the car they just climb in and start arguing and complaining. Let them walk their issues out before they get home.

5. Don't let them watch TV in the morning before school. They get way too distracted from all the things they need to do, like get dressed and eat. I know I was weak on this, but you are better than me. Be strong.

6. It worked really well to have the kids do their homework as soon as they got home from school. Originally I told them they could play for 30 minutes to relax, then it was homework time, but Kimmy learned she didn't like having her homework hanging over her head and would rush to do it as soon as she came in the door. Remind her of this when she starts complaining about homework.

7. Find a class or something fun for Roman to do now that his sisters are gone all day. Turn off the TV!

That's it, September Me. Make us look good for the cameras!

Love,
Lisa